I loved how calm and present you were when we started the session. It helped me to become aware of how tense I was and to trust in your holding. I was very moved when you called in your soul group and monad at the beginning. It felt like such a beautiful supporting circle. When you started with the healing protocol I just had to cry. I think it was because of the support that was coming and again, me realising how tense I am generally, stopping me from letting the love in.
I think a lot of it is to do with my fear of not hearing people, actually of not responding in the right way, which could lead to terrible consequences. I think I realised that through you sharing your journey with your hearing loss. I was able to relax enough to follow you and had to peek a few times to read your lips, but was able to drop into the energetic contain you held so beautifully.
At the end I felt exhausted – like my energetic system was working hard to recalibrate. I lay down for a rest and automatically went into my default state of cutting myself off from source again. I managed to stay with it and dance with it (which is how I process). I was taken to my new-born self, who was raging and panicking, because she was clock-fed every four hours and then separated from her mother. I could witness her fear and rage of not being in control of the source of nourishment and that the way she dealt with it was to cut herself off from source, lock her rage inside her body and become a dissociated good girl. I feel I have now integrated this part of me. I am feeling less tense and more able to connect with source energy. Thank you so much!